


Blinded by the Light

by Writer_Geekgirl



Series: Castiel and Dean: A Love Story [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 18:04:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12487656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_Geekgirl/pseuds/Writer_Geekgirl
Summary: Castiel accidentally blinds Dean during a vampire hunt. Castiel can't deal with the guilt, Dean can't deal with Castiel not dealing with the guilt, and Sam can't deal with Dean not being able to deal with Castiel not being able to deal with the guilt.Into every fluffy adventure, a little rain must fall. Or darkness. Wait, not the darkness... No more darkness!





	Blinded by the Light

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place in the same universe as the other stories in the Castiel and Dean: A Love Story series.
> 
> This story was written in response to the prompt word: blind.
> 
> Note: This story references something that happened in a previous story (Of Stars and Freckles) in which Castiel tells Dean that he memorized the location of Dean's freckles so that he could make constellations of them in the stars when he misses him. Most of the stories in this series can be read standalone, but there's one passage might be confusing without reading the other story.

"Close your eyes." Castiel yelled.

Sam and Dean immediately did as he said, but a vampire bit Dean right as Castiel smote the room full vampires. Dean's eyes flew open only for a split second, but that was enough. Dean's eyes saw the bright flash light, and then utter darkness. He cried out, "Cas? Sam?"

Dean felt a hand on his shoulder and a deep gravelly voice, "Dean, are you ok?"

"I can't see, Cas." Dean's voice was frantic.

Dean felt himself infused with the soft flow of energy he associated with Castiel's healing. He could feel pain of the bite and various gashes and injuries fade, but he still couldn't see. "Cas?"

"Dean, I can't heal it immediately. It was caused by my grace. I can't heal an injury caused by my grace quickly. But I assure you, I can fix this."

"Is Sam okay?"

Sam voice came reassuringly, "Yes, Dean. I'm fine. All the vamps are dead. We're all fine."

Castiel said gently, "Come on, Dean." He put his hand in Dean's and pulled him gently to his feet. He put his arm around Dean and guided him out of the barn they had fought the vampires in. Castiel stopped him next to the Impala.

Sam said in a quiet voice, "Dean, I'll need the keys."

Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys. He held them out to Sam. Sam took the keys, while Castiel guided Dean into the back seat of the Impala. Castiel sat next to him and put his arm around him.

Sam asked, "It's a nine-hour drive to the bunker. Should we stop or go straight through?"

"Let's get him home, Sam. Dean, I'm going to put you to sleep now. I'm going to try to help with your vision, but I want you to be asleep during it."

"Ok, Cas." The last thing Dean remembered was the sound of the Impala roaring down the highway.

\-----

When Dean woke up, he heard Castiel and Sam talking quietly in the distance. He decided he must be in the bunker because of the familiarity of his memory foam mattress he was lying on. He listened, trying to catch what the others were saying.

"I did this to him, Sam. This is my fault."

"How else were we going to kill eleven vampires. The one that was biting him was about to tear him apart. We underestimated how many there were and went into too cocky."

Castiel's voice was tinged in frustration, "Because you guys are used to me being with you. You were much more cautious before you had me tagging after you."

"No, we almost died multiple times without you with us. This is not your fault, Cas. Injuries are a risk we take during every hunt."

"But, I'm not the one to hurt him, usually."

"Okay, Cas, it doesn't matter whose fault it is. Can you fix this?"

Castiel sighed, "I don't know for sure. I'm trying to heal it from the inside out. But it's going to take some time before I can tell." Castiel sounded defeated.

Dean decided he had listened long enough to Castiel blaming himself, "Cas, Sam, I'm awake. I'm getting out of bed."

Sam was by Dean's side in about three long steps. He wrapped his arms around him. "You're okay."

Dean in a slightly irritated voice, "I know I'm fine. I just can't see. Where's my angel?"

"Right here, Dean." The voice came right behind his Sasquatch of a brother. 

Dean asked, "Who is hungry?" He pulled away from Sam and walked out of the room. He placed his hand on the wall and counted the steps until he knew where he had to turn. He made it to the kitchen and into a chair with Sam and Castiel on his heels. He had practiced walking blindfolded several routes in the bunker, in case it was ever pitch black. Dean had always wanted to be prepared if the bunker was ever without power and under attack. He also knew how to get to the garage, get to the weapon closet, and to the bathroom.

"Now, who's cooking? I'm not sure what is good in the fridge and don’t want to poison you with last week's chili."

Sam made grilled cheese sandwiches, while Castiel sat in the chair next to Dean. He had his hand on Dean's knee, and Dean could feel Castiel's tendrils of grace flow softly through his system. "Cas, this isn't your fault," He whispered.

Castiel asked, "Then whose fault is it? The vampires didn't do this to you. I did."

"It was an accident, Cas. Once I accidently shot Sam in the ass. Tell him, Sam."

Sam gave a short laugh. "Yeah, one time we were hunting these werewolves down in Tulsa. He was about to shoot one, I didn't notice and moved in to stab it. And he shot me in the left butt cheek. Thankfully, it was superficial, but I still had to moon him while he stitched me up."

Dean smirked, " Good times. He was a real ass about it."

"Since you are in Sam's capable hands, I'm taking a walk." Castiel abruptly stood up and left the kitchen.

Dean sighed. "He's gonna beat himself up for this forever."

Sam put the plate of food in front of Dean, and moved Dean's hand into contact with the plate. "You know how he gets. There's a beer for you at 2 o'clock. But you are taking this more calmly than I expected, Dean. I'm really sort of spun out from it."

"If I freak out, Cas is going to freak out more. I'll just hope for the best, and expect the worst. On the inside, Sam, I'm terrified. It's so dark. It makes me think of hell." Dean shuddered for a moment. He then put his brave face back on, and took a bite out of the sandwich.

When he was finished eating, Dean insisted he could go to the bathroom, take a shower, and get back to his room on his own. Dean carefully counted the steps with his hand on the wall. He made it to the shower successfully. He grinned at his own triumph. He felt around for a clean towel. He hung the towel outside the shower stall, took off his clothes, and entered the shower. He took a long, leisurely shower, enjoying the warm water slicing across his skin. He felt pretty confident, as he stepped out of the shower, grabbed the towel, and dried off. Then, he took a step forward, his foot got tangled in the jeans he had taken off, and he hit the ground, crying out in pain. A moment later, he heard someone running through the door. The deep voice said, "Dean, are you okay?"

"Fine, Cas. Just my pride is damaged." Castiel helped him stand back up. "Well, this is one way to see me naked, Cas. All you really had to do was ask."

Castiel said in a sad voice. "Don't move. I'll be back." Dean heard Castiel leave the room. Dean sighed. His left knee was hurting like hell, but he wasn't going to tell Castiel that. He shifted his weight. A moment later, Castiel returned and helped Dean into sweat pants. Dean let Castiel guide him back to his room, even though Dean knew he could have found it on his own. Castiel just seemed to need to do things for him.

As Dean settled into the bed, he could hear Castiel turn to leave. "No, Cas, come and lie down with me."

He heard clothing rustling and a moment later, Castiel joined him in the bed. He had removed his jacket and shirt. Dean slid his hand down Castiel's back until he ran into a waistband. "I put on my orange shorts," Castiel informed him.

Dean faced him and felt Castiel's face with his fingertip. He felt the scruff of Castiel's perpetual five o'clock shadow. He ran this fingers through his hair. Then he traced the outline of Castiel's lips with his finger. "I could get kind of use to this, Cas. It's sort of sexy, in a touchy, feely sort of way."

Castiel let out a half-strangled laugh. "Don't get used to it, Dean. I will fix you."

\---- 

Over the next few days, Castiel tried healing Dean several times a day. Dean got intense headaches after some of the attempts. At night, Castiel laid next to Dean quietly, apologizing for his failure. Dean finally snapped, "It's not your fault, Cas. You feeling guilty is not making things better, it's making things worse. You're making things worse. Just accept this and move on. We'll figure it out."

Castiel got out of bed. "I'm going for a walk, Dean."

Dean didn't know what to do. He felt distance between him and Castiel widening. Dean fell asleep alone. He woke up to a fight between Castiel and Sam.

"Cas, you got to stop doing this to yourself. You look like a wreck. How much of your grace are you putting into him. We might just have to accept it. Dean's capable of adapting. He can adapt to almost anything given enough time. What he can't recover from is you killing yourself trying to make him better. You need to stop this shit."

Castiel yelled in frustration, "I can't stop until he's fixed. This is my fault. I did this to him. I have to fix it."

"Or die trying? Cas, you look horrible. You know what, get out! Get out until you put yourself back together. Don't come near Dean again until you can accept that you can't fix this. I won't be the one that has to deal with Dean after you kill yourself trying to heal him."

Dean heard the clanging of the bunker door. For the first time since he was blinded, he broke down. He started to throw anything he could reach at the wall. A moment later Sam was in the room. "I'm sorry, Dean. I'm sorry. I'll go get him back." Sam engulfed Dean in a hug.

Dean quietly said, "No. You're right, Sam. Somehow this broke Cas, even more than it broke me."

Two weeks passed before they heard from Castiel again. In that time, Dean became more comfortable getting around, even though he was increasingly worried about Castiel. He managed to cook some of the meals, although Sam carved initials in some of the spice canisters after Dean mixed up pepper with garlic salt, and made the most garlic-y scrambled eggs in existence. Dean kept getting intense headaches. Sam mentioned several times that they should take Dean to see a regular doctor, but Dean declined.

On the fourteenth day of Castiel's absence, Dean's phone rang while Dean was trying to figure out how to make spaghetti without seeing the ingredients. Dean answered the phone to Castiel saying, "Hello, Dean."

"Cas, where are you?"

"Helping Claire with a werewolf. The situation is well under control now."

Dean asked quietly, "Will you come home now?"

"Do you want me to? I was making things worse for you." Dean could hear the pain in Castiel's voice.

"Cas, I love you. I want you to come home. I'll be fine. I promise. Even if I can't see, I'll be fine as long as I have you."

"Will Sam let me back in the bunker?"

Dean asked, "Could he really have kept you out?"

"Well, I suppose if he removed the special warding that allows me to the enter that keeps the other angels out, he could." Castiel postulated.

"He'd never do that, Cas."

Castiel gave a small, short laugh, "I'm not so sure about that, Dean. He was pretty angry."

"I love you, Cas."

"I miss you, Dean. I'll be back tomorrow."

Dean hung up the phone. Sam came up behind him. "Everything okay, Dean?"

"It will be, he's coming home." Dean grimaced at the sudden onset of a headache again. He started to collapse until Sam caught him. Sam carried him to his room, put him on the bed, and gave him some pain medication that made him drowsy.

"Dean, tomorrow, we are going to take you to a doctor. This is enough."

\------

Dean woke up, feeling disoriented. Someone had left the light on in his room, and the white light was hurting his eyes. He mumbled, "Turn the damn light off."

Castiel's deep voice asked, "You can see the light, Dean?"

"Yeah, I just don't want to go into the light yet, Haley Joel." Dean said, dazed and confused. The light went away. "That's better." The light returned. "Cut it out, Cas. Just turn off the damn light so I can go back to sleep." The light went back out. Dean heard Castiel leave the room. He dozed back off to sleep without ever fully waking up.

When he woke up again, he opened his eyes and saw fuzzy shapes and colors. He couldn't discern anything clearly. "Oh?" He saw a big tan blob come closer. "Cas, is that you?"

"What can you see, Dean?"

Dean gave a short laugh. "Either you or a tan camel, I'm not sure which. I can freakin' sorta kinda see things."

"Thank, God." Sam said from the doorway.

"I usually would doubt my Father would do anything to help us, but in this case, he might have." Castiel said dryly.

"Cas, come closer." Dean requested. He saw the tan blob come closer. Dean reached up, pulled Castiel down, figured out where his face was, and kissed him for several long minutes. "Don’t leave me again, angel."

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"Oh my god, also don't say you are sorry anymore, like ever."

"I'm sor… Okay." Castiel responded.

Over the next few days, Dean's eyesight slowly returned to normal. One night, as Castiel and Sam were sitting at the map table researching for cases, Dean came in and dangled the car keys in front of Castiel. "Wanna go for a drive, fly boy?" Castiel gave him a small smile and followed him to the garage. 

Dean drove them to an open field. He popped the cooler in the back seat open, pulled out two beers, and climbed on the hood of the Impala. Castiel joined him a moment later. He put his arm around Dean and pulled him close.

"I've been looking at the stars a lot the past couple of weeks, Dean."

"Hmmmm… Freckles?"

"Yeah, the pattern starts right there. That's the freckle next to your left eye." Castiel pointed out each star he had selected to build the constellation of Dean's freckles. Dean followed the pattern intently, listening to Castiel describe the wonder that is his freckles. 

When Castiel had finished star mapping for him, Dean kissed Castiel drowsily. "Cas, I love you."

Castiel smiled at him. "Can I say I'm sorry one more time?"

Dean frowned at him. "Just this once."

"I’m sorry that I always try so hard to fix things I break that I end up leaving you. I'll work on that. I love you."

"Cas, it's just that you care so freaking much. But we're a team, we'll work through things together." Dean looked into the blue pools of Castiel's eyes, grateful that he could see them again. Dean pulled Castiel closer and kissed him. "Wanna try that whole I feel your face without looking thing again?"


End file.
